Aidan Burley MP. Hello , from a fellow Brit.

Life isn’t always easy is it Aidan ? I imagine that you feel a little hard done by , that the events of the last 12 months have rather conspired against you. What about that stag weekend in France ? Your friends dressed as Nazis , toasting the ideologies of the Third Reich ? You have my sympathy.After all who hasn’t been on a stag weekend that was of borderline taste ?  It is all a bit of laddish fun . BANTER. LOLZ. It’s not like the French might be sensitive about it. I know what it is like. In 2001 I went to Prague for my mate Ravi’s (it’s an Indian name) stag weekend and  our tour t shirt said “RAVIS STAG WEEKEND”. That missing apostrophe still haunts me. I still wonder if I could have done more. But sometimes you just have to go with the flow. So good on you for having the courage to disown the behaviour of your friends. It wasn’t your fault , you claimed , it was their choice.

It must have been embarrassing then when it was revealed that you had actually hired the Nazi outfits. Again you have my sympathy. It is easy to forget your purchases. Only last week I bought a selection of fruit from Sainsbury’s. This morning I found the packets. Not one fruit had been eaten.So I empathise. It was a shame that David Cameron overreacted to the howls of protest by the leftie pinko Guardianista PC brigade and sacked you as a PPS.

After your assassination though , you should have just got your head down and tried to be a quiet hardworking constiuency MP. You should have stayed out of trouble , and become the kind of MP that earns respect , rather than one who seems determined to make “publicity stunt” a new phrase in the rhyming slang dictionary.

But that would have meant stalling the relentless upward trajectory of your career. Your rapid advancement through the ranks has been as impressive as it had been predictable. Independent boys’ school (the same one as Enoch Powell – I’m imagining my own scenarios here), theology at Oxford , management consultant at Accenture – it isn’t exactly rags to riches. I’d be a hypocrite to criticise you for being privileged. But you should be grateful enough about that to think about your responsibilities every so often. And your “Nazi” incident should have been a wake up call to stop behaving like a pompous prick.

I can understand why the opening ceremony offended you. For someone with such a narrow view of what Britishness actually means , it must have been torture. While the vast majority of the country were enjoying a visual and aural extravaganza, you were clearly suffering by being bombarded by parts of the ceremony that were nothing more than leftwing mischief. Like children.Black people.Fireworks. James Bond. The Queen. Tim Berners Lee.Gosh if I was subjected to that horrific parade of communist propaganda , I’d want to dress up as a Nazi too.

In all seriousness you have probably missed an important point. This was a celebration of British culture and heritage. Much of that heritage has been military in nature. What with other Olympic nations being victims of that miltary culture , it probably wouldnt have been that “Olympics friendly”. I don’t think India would have attended the ceremony if Danny Boyle had chosen to recreate the battle of Plassey.

So what he chose to do was try and produce a ceremony that was both parochial and international , traditional and contemporary , and set to a soundtrack that felt defiantly British. In most people’s eyes he succeeded spectacularly. Because the majority of people in Britain don’t actually share your myopic , pig ignorant viewpoint. The majority of people have gay friends , have eaten in a curry house , have bought CDs (like gramophone but more user friendly) by black recording artists , have attended mixed race weddings. The vast majority of people in this country remain grateful that we have access to a National Health Service and that women can vote. This isn’t leftist propaganda. It is just life. You cannot accurately reflect London and Britain in an Olympics ceremony by making it monocultural. If you want monocultural opening ceremonies try Moscow 1980 or Beijing 2008.

And then there is the music.I understand that you have gone on record yesterday attacking the decision to allow Dizzee Rascal to sing at the Opening Ceremony. You are 33 not 83 . You should know that he is one of Britain’s most successful recording artists of the last few years with four massive selling number 1 hit singles , a Mercury Prize , and huge popularity. In fact the music for the cermony was so varied and broad , you would be an idiot to attach any importance to the fact that you didn’t like all of it. That is the beauty of Britain’s music industry – it’s a broad church with something for everyone. Boyle did brilliantly to recognise that. Trust me when I say that your vision of an opening ceremony – the ghost of Enoch Powell translating Latin whilst being filmed by Leni Riefenstahl – just wouldn’t have worked.

You are entitled to your opinion , and I wouldn’t want to see you disciplined for expressing your opinion. But the fact that you have misjudged the mood of a nation should make you consider whether you might be wrong about what you think this nation is. And I am looking forward to 2015 when the good citizens of Cannock Chase deliver their verdict on their smug , unapologetic buffoon of an MP.

http://www.paulsinha.com/

http://sohotheatre.com/whats-on/paul-sinha-last-christmas/

About Paul Sinha

The all new blog of 40 year old bachelor comedian Paul Sinha.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

57 Responses to Aidan Burley MP. Hello , from a fellow Brit.

  1. Stuart says:

    Superb : ) I thoroughly enjoyed reading this – great writing.

  2. MIB says:

    There is only one way to settle this – get Aidan Burley on The Chase!!

  3. Reblogged this on BrownhillsBob's Brownhills Blog and commented:
    Lovely sentiment here on the Burley debacle. Brought to my attention by the wonderful Ben Whitehouse (@benjiw).

  4. Mr P says:

    This is an excellent piece of writing.

  5. Superb as always Paul.

    I have just been speaking to my mum (74) about the ceremony. She thought it was wonderful, especially as a former Great Ormond St nurse, although she did say The Arctic Monkeys were appalling, which I took issue with partly because I thought they were superb, but mainly because they played ‘Come Together’, which my parents own on vinyl. “Oh yes”, she said, “that was good”. As they only payed two songs, I pointed out that they can’t have been that appalling if she liked 50% of them. And she agreed, while pointing out that it would be idiotic to expect everyone to like everything, which is, of course, absolutely right.

    Burley, on the other hand, appeared on Sky News yesterday to defend what most of us thought were his indefensible comments, claiming that there was a twenty minute ‘rap’ section and not enough Beatles, amongst other things. As I pointed out on Twitter, ‘rap’ is not a collective term for ‘music which Aidan Burley MP does not like’ and he might want to look at the costumes on the cover of Sgt Pepper’s, and then have a quick look back at the ceremony on iPlayer to see if that rings any bells beyond the big one at the beginning. He might even recognise that bloke singing ‘Hey Jude’ at the end or guess who wrote ‘Come Together’ too, but I wouldn’t bet on it. He must have been pleased that they played a song about a lack of satisfaction to summarise his objections in general and the absence of The Rolling Stones in particular.

    Surely what was most remarkable about the opening ceremony was how Danny Boyle came so close to being all things to all men without sacrificing his integrity, or, crucially, his sense of humour. I say all men – I mean of course all men and women, but not Conservative MPs for Cannock Chase as they are clearly from another planet. I join Paul wholeheartedly in hoping that in 2015, the people of that constituency will return him to it, rather than to The House of Commons. In the words of Elbow, (they’re a band, Aidan, as opposed to something you don’t know your arse from,) “Let’s Build a Rocket, Boys”.

  6. Mike Gerrard says:

    Brilliant and hilarious, so glad I spotted someone retweeting this.

  7. redskynoise says:

    Reblogged this on redskynoise and commented:
    Paul Sinha is amazing, Aidan Burley is a knob head. And both of those sentiments are summed up quite nicely here :)

  8. Adam Pack says:

    Mr Sinha, you are marvellous. Thank you.

  9. Susannah Davis says:

    Magnificent. Thank you for expressing everything I’ve been failing to articulate beyond ‘aarghs’ in last 24hrs. And for putting the witless dolt Burley in his proper place, which is vanishingly small. Grateful to Nicholas Pegg for linking to your blog via Twitter.

  10. a remarkable aside – I liked EVERY piece of music Danny Boyle chose to include, and it wasn’t all British, but the accumulative effect was to separate those who love something about Britain (perhaps 55million of us) from those who read the Daily Mail as if it was a newspaper…

  11. Tom Harris says:

    Here is Aidan Burley MP appearing regional BBC today (Sunday) complaining about rap – “Lots of focus on rap music at the expense of bigger bands..” – http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=379814802086327

  12. Captain Lockheed says:

    Got linked to this excellent article from here: http://talk.notthetalk.com/discussion/list/15505?start=2342 and I have to say you hit the nail right on the head with “You cannot accurately reflect London and Britain in an Olympics ceremony by making it monocultural. If you want monocultural opening ceremonies try Moscow 1980 or Beijing 2008″. The opening ceremony was a triumph and captured the spirit of the UK perfectly (OK there wasn’t enough metal in the soundtrack but there you go). Burley just showed himself up as the joysucking dogmatic pillock who with every breath steals the oxygen from more deserving life-forms.

  13. Jarvo says:

    Unlike this marginal MP this article is sharp, to the point and has a clear understanding of what our Opening Ceremony represented and what it was really about. The MP must know he has (again!) made a serious mis judgement. He could redeem himself if only he had the character and bottle to admit it instead of trying to muddy the water with excuses. The voters will have their chance in time, hope they do not mis judge when they mark their crosses.

  14. Ian says:

    Absolutely superb piece, and thanks for writing it.

  15. stuwho says:

    Superbly barbed and skillfully written, Paul … I was tempted to write a similar riposte, and now feel that the job has been more than done in the very best of ways!!

    Respect, ma man!!

    Stu

  16. Tony Lloyd says:

    I normally can’t abide Dizzee (double-z, double-e?, FFS) Rascal. I’m in my 40s and though and people-in-their-40s not liking his “music” (and putting it in scare-quotes) is, I’m sure, part of the point.

    But it worked really well in the ceremony. The ceremony was utterly British and, being utterly British, must have appeared slightly insane to the rest of the world. What better way to boast about a bonkers country than to have a song on that theme pop up in the middle.

    Which brings me to “multi-culturalism”. There was no “multi” about the culture – it was 100% British. Why don’t we call this Burley chap out on his use of the word “multi-cultural”? Can he give us one example of a foreign culture in the ceremony?

    I don’t think he meant “multi-cultural”. I think he meant “darkies” and, until he can give a sensible account of “multi-cultural” that’s what I’m going to take his statements as meaning.

  17. Treats says:

    Aidan achieved the biggest anti-Labour swing in the country in Cannock. He may not share the view of the witch hunters on twitter, but his views are popular.

    • hahaha says:

      Next time he might achieve the biggest anti Conservative swing in the country. I am guessing that he wasn’t as forthcoming with such views in advance of the last election and he pulled his horns in fairly quickly when Central Office got wind of his wittering

  18. Stephen Gallagher says:

    And Dizzie Rascal was born in Bow, a hop and a shout from the Olympic stadium. How much more f****** British could Burley want?

  19. Paul Keogan says:

    Terrific piece of writing – I do feel for the electorate of Cannock Chase having to wait until 2015 to purge themselves of such an idiot.

  20. Rusty says:

    Well done mate, a fantastic piece of writing that I am happy to plaster all over the social networks!

  21. As a common man I still feel it is appropriate to say “hear,hear”

  22. Andrew says:

    I’d love to see Paul Sindha stand against Burley as an independent candidate in 2015.

  23. Matt says:

    Your forgot to add that Dizzie was born a stone’s throw from the stadium. This, along with his success, I imagine, is the main reason he was chosen.

  24. DavidWebster says:

    Reblogged this on Dispirited and commented:
    Excellent.. Off-topic, but needed saying..

  25. LJH says:

    Just four words I think: arse, plate, handed. Bravo!

  26. What an excellent riposte to Aidan Burley, but don’t be too hard, the man is a hero to me! I’ll tell you why… Having spent months being grumpy and appalled by the hideous bloated commercialisation of the Olympics, the spiralling cost, the security state that East London has become, the totalitarian Olympic Laws New Labour passed in 2006, the Zil lanes etc., Danny Boyle’s astonishingly lunatic and joyous Opening Ceremony ended up blowing me away completely and my customary cynicism evaporated. But just as I was about to make myself vomit through my own sudden happiness, dear old Aidan rode to the rescue with his cretinous tweets and gave me something on which to concentrate my (briefly dormant) bile and anger! Thanks to him I had my cake and ate it, for not only was I able to experience (albeit on the telly) one of the most fantastic, exuberant, moving (yes, I had a tear in the corner of my eye at times) and sublime shows ever, but I also got to be very angry with a complete tool and thanks to the wonder of the Twitter, I was able to tell him personally several times (with varying levels of profanity and personal insult). Double bubble! I was even able to send him a nice picture wot I made: https://p.twimg.com/Ay2AiKOCAAAFL9Z.jpg:large

  27. Hahahahahahahaha! Thank you, I needed this laugh. Sharing around.

  28. Tony Holdich says:

    Very well written piece and well thought out unlike….

  29. Alex Green says:

    Awesome, great post. Talk about misjudging the mood of the majority of the nation, perhaps Aidan really ought to be called to resign / be forced to call a by-election if he is that out of touch with the normal population.

  30. Gill says:

    I loved reading this …. I giggled most of the way thru it. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to smile at something that has had me grinding my teeth at.

  31. Ian Butler says:

    Brilliant article and a nice riposte to a very silly upper class twit, with much more money than brains

  32. Ian W says:

    You had me at ‘You should have stayed out of trouble and become the kind of MP that earns respect , rather than one who seems determined to make “publicity stunt” a new phrase in the rhyming slang dictionary.’ Top draw!!

  33. Perhaps Burley thought a segment should have been devoted to British Banking and it’s contribution to the World Economy. Btw I still can’t believe a Labour region like ours voted this oik in.

  34. SG says:

    Wonderfully put and made me really smile!

  35. Dom Parry says:

    Excellent. Perfect sentiment and wonderfully written. Nice one Mr Sinha!

  36. sTeamTraen says:

    Other alumni of the same school as Aidan Burley and Enoch Powell: John Hemming (LibDem MP), David “Two Brains” Willetts, and me. :-)

  37. michael says:

    good, funny article. I’m not sure that the majority of people have gay friends, or attended mixed-race weddings though: just quickly thinking about it, that doesnt seem right. Is it roughly 10 percent of people are gay? Perhaps if friends were evenly spread amongst the population, but of course given inevitable social clustering…etc, wouldnt it be the majority dont have gay friends? It could even be that the majority of adults in the uk dont know any gay people (but perhaps thats less likely). Also with mixed-race marriages – arent they a small minority of weddings, and also, seen as not everyone has been to a wedding – might it be that the majority have not seen a mixed-race wedding? Have I got that wrong?

    To be clear, I’m not particularly interested either way (i have gay friends, and have been to a mixed race wedding – my sister’s), but those points struck me as odd, and I wonder that little points like those may give those who might otherwise be swayed by your blog, an easy get out. Also seen as your blog was in part about assumptions re: britain…etc. thought the above might be apt.

    Anyway, good article. I really like the chase – didnt know you did this. will come back for more blogs.

    cheers, michael

  38. Week Woman says:

    Absolutely *fantastic* post. Genius.

  39. Week Woman says:

    Reblogged this on Week Woman and commented:
    Fantastically acerbic

  40. Pingback: The Stupid Awards – July 2012 « Another Kind Of Mind

  41. That was absolutely fucking brilliant!

  42. Rod Sherrin says:

    I tend to agree with michael’s comment, the high incidence of single mothers (I’m only using my wife’s experience and observation at local play groups) bringing up mixed race children probably fires the ensuing article in the Daily Mail that criticises this very idyll, and am intrigued to learn more about the definition of CW’s “Labour region”

  43. Pingback: The Opening Ceremony & Political Theatre | Opposition

  44. Simon Harper says:

    Excellent writing, and invaluable, deserves to be read by as many people as possible.

  45. Pingback: Seeing potential | First Sense

  46. Martin Jeffrey says:

    Well done Mr Sinha, this is a wonderful reply to the “blinkered posh boy” Burley.

  47. Too cowardly to give my name but right nevertheless says:

    Assault with pitchfork by a bully on an easy target. Now why don’t you do something on the racist MP for Hackney North and Stoke Newington. Unfortunately not a marginal seat like Cannock

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16423278

    • Paul Sinha says:

      Thanks for the link , otherwise I would have had no idea to what you were referring. This is a mixed bag of a blog , with tales of quizzes ,hot men, Chinese restaurants , sports opinion and occasional social/political comment. As such I can’t comment on everything, I have no option but to pick and choose. But I certainly did use my twitter profile to ridicule Abbott’s stupid comments at the time. It’s a bit much that you accuse me , an unimportant blogger with an average of 100-200 hits per blog to be bullying a successful MP who has been able to make use of television news stations to explain himself. I’d also say that “easy target” may well be a synonym for “deserving target”. And I reiterate – I do not want to see Burley disciplined for expressing an opinion. It’s an opinion and it is no more or less valid than mine. But I do doubt whether someone who describes themselves as “right nonetheless” would see that.

  48. Tony Lloyd says:

    Nice bit of “what-about-ery” there, Too-cowardly.

    That others, even black people, are racist too doesn’t excuse young master Burley. Neither does it make anyone criticising him a “bully” (I think you rather reduce the value of the word). To the extent that Burley is an easy target, he’s an easy target because he’s painted several concentric circles on himself, the centre one of which is gold. As for “pitchfork”, nice try at turning Mr. Poof’s skill at writing against him. Nice try; failed though.

  49. Matt Jones says:

    I took me a few moments to, firstly, take in this wonderful piece of writing and then, secondly, think of a word to sum it up with. And with all due respects I am pretty content with my conclusion of… Beautiful.

    These games are ours. They are Britains for this time round – expanding on that point I feel it is necessary to explain what makes Britain… The answer to that, is of course, the people.

    And who represents the people? (‘the sheeple’ according to the higher achey.) The mps ( a brownie point to anyone who gussed right.) Therefore, yes you guessed it, Aidan Burley represents you and I, day in, day out. And I don’t have a problem with that…

    But when people like Mr Burley see that in just one night in the form of a party, a show, a concert and parade that Danny Boyle has bettered his efforts at representing the people of Britain and decides that, in his best interests, putting a dampener on the electric Olympic spirit of this nation is the correct way to express his opinions on the matter is the best way to do so. And breath. That, that is when I have a problem!

    I am only in high school and I thought that the summer holidays would prove as a break from all the poncey bitching, you’d expect encounter, every day, around school (yes school, not to be mixed up with THE HOUSES OF PARLIMENT) obviously not…

  50. Jane says:

    Very witty Paul – I found your blog through my niece and the wonders of social networking – loved every line and sent a pasted copy to the Dishonorable Aidan Burley. If anyone else would like to send their comments here’s the adddress:

    aidan.burley.mp@parliament.uk

  51. Mike Barnett says:

    Well said Paul, the man is a grade A knob.

  52. Ravi says:

    Uh-uh. What was wrong about the apostrophe? Ive still got the t-shirt but mislaid the wife somewhere along the way.

  53. Interesting blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?

    A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog shine.
    Please let me know where you got your theme. Thanks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s